Read the Cosmo Article here – The 8 words single girls never want to hear. Ever.

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Many locals are finding the pressures of having to pay for ever more expensive gifts plus the increased costs of hosting additional family members, just too much to bear. If like many couples they have had previous marriages with children to different spouses, they might find themselves having to juggle spending time and giving presents to several children. How do they divide their time between 2, 3 or more locations?

Parents in blended families have to regularly deal with jealousies and favouritisms, this is exaggerated at this time of year. Do I give as good a present to my step-children as my own? Do I spend lunch/dinner with the children I had with my first spouse or my current partner? What if I can’t see them all on Christmas day? These are just some of the difficult problems that have to be worked out.

Whilst Christmas is a lovely ideal, the reality is it can be a very stressful time. We no doubt are living with more and more stress in our society. Unfortunately us Aussies are not the best with dealing with stress. The ‘she will be right mate’ and ‘get over it’ attitude doesn’t help. All this added strain can end up destroying their relationships.

Many couples might seem to be doing ok, plodding along fine in their day-today lives, but at this time of the year they now have to confront family issues that have been ignored or covered over. One of the classic problems I see as a relationship therapist is problems between a spouse and their in-laws. Yes it’s a bit cliché but it really is common. Having to spend a day with people you don’t get on with, add to that alcohol and you have disaster brewing.

If you find that Christmas has lost its joy then perhaps look at simplifying things. A picnic at the Dam or park instead of huge feasts could be just the trick. Visit people you really want to see, not those you suffer through out of obligation. But most importantly focus on the ones who are most important to you. Make time for love in your relationship.

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http://au.prime7.yahoo.com/v1/news/a/-/national/15607838/happy-days-for-border-folk-video/

Happy Days for Border Folk

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Interview on gay marriage and relationship equality

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Cyan von Gija, from Albury-Wodonga Counselling, says the day can be difficult or disappointing for both singles and those in a relationship.

Mr von Gija said some of his clients had actually broken up on Valentines Day, because the experience didn’t live up to their expectations.

“What happens is the relationship might not be in a good place and then we come to this day … The expectation is that we should have a really special romantic time … but you might be in a bad place.

“While I’m not proposing we get rid of Valentines Days, I just think we need to take off some of the pressures that come with it.”

The counsellor said he would advise to celebrate the day in a way that “feels right”.

For example, Mr von Gija said a night celebrated with champagne, a limousine and expensive restaurant might not be the right fit for a couple that have just met, or those under financial pressure.

He suggested instead a laid-back picnic, or perhaps even celebrating their love on an alternative date.

“I think Valentines Day is a nice day, but unfortunately it’s only one day of the year and the relationship exists 365 days a year,” Mr von Gija said.

Valentines Day has traps for single people too, Mr von Gija said, as those without a partner feel pressure to get a date.

He said some of his clients contact him around this time of year saying they’re very depressed they don’t have someone to love.

“Celebrate your relationship with others and your relationship with friends,” he said.

Source: Border-Mail

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But keeping it up can be hard, and there’s nothing like a hint of failure to make you give up entirely.
Paddington-based nutritionist Cyan von Gija said the most important thing was to set flexible but realistic goals.

“Rather than focusing on one major goal – like ‘I want to lose 10 kg this year’ – it’s probably better to think ‘OK, by February,  I want to have lost 2 kg’, so you can measure how you’re going with it,” he said. “It’s no good having a goal you ‘re not going to achieve..”

Mr von Gija said it is better to “push a little bit, but not too much” because an impossible goal is setting a person up for failure. He is also not inclined to set overly specific eating plans for clients.

“People generally know what’s good for them and what’s not.” he said. ”Normally I’d suggest to keep away from fried foods and cakes,
and things like that and incorporate a lot of vegetables. It’s more about being practical.”

One client last year was a mother with an Italian background. Cooking and eating large family meals were a key part of daily life. “It would be impossible for her to produce a totally separate meal for herself,” Mr von Gija said. “If she was just sitting down with some Lean Cuisine, she was going to feel like she was missing out. “So I told her to go buy herself a really nice and special, small plate.

“So when everyone else had these big traditional plates, she had exactly the same foods as everyone else, and she didn’t feel like she was missing out.”

Source: Wentworth courier, NSW

Be Realistic with weight Goals article

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